


Angry, Angry, Angry, Pie

by MandalaRose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, I promise, It gets much deeper than that, POV Sam Winchester, Pre-Slash, don't be fooled by the summary, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 09:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20289286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandalaRose/pseuds/MandalaRose
Summary: “So… you’re saying that Dean’s four emotional states are angry, angry, angry… and pie?”“Pretty much, yeah.”After overhearing a conversation between Cas and Sam, Dean decides to clarify his feelings to the angel... sort of.





	Angry, Angry, Angry, Pie

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short little plot bunny that popped into my head following a Discord conversation about the emotional depth and complexity of Dean Winchester.

“Hey, Cas. Why the long face?”

Blue eyes squint in confusion as the angel touches a tentative hand to his own cheek. 

Sam smiles. Even after all these years, his friend can still be so literal at times.

“What’s wrong?” he clarifies.

Cas’ eyes widen briefly in understanding before the despondent look that prompted Sam’s question in the first place finds its way back onto his features.

“I believe Dean’s angry with me again. I’m not precisely sure what I did wrong this time, but I must have done something.” Cas pauses. “It seems like he’s always angry with me.”

Sam frowns. He’s not sure what the hell is up his brother’s emotionally repressed ass this time, but he is certain that whatever it is _isn’t _Cas’ fault.

Sighing, he readies himself to clean-up the emotional fallout of Dean’s poor coping skills. Again.

“Look, Cas, what you have to understand about Dean is that sometimes when he’s angry, he’s not _really_ angry.”

Cas looks more confused by this than by the “long face” question.

“I’m an Angel of the Lord, Sam. ‘Holy wrath’ is something of a specialty of ours. I am more than capable of recognizing anger when I see it.”

“No, what I mean is…” Sam hesitates and looks up at the ceiling, thinking of how to best explain the complex emotional tapestry that is Dean Winchester. “Sometimes when Dean acts, and looks, and sounds _angry_, he’s actually _feeling_ something else.” 

Another pause.

Another round of confused angelic squinting.

“Okay, so there are four basic emotions, right? Anger, fear, sorrow, and joy. Most people express those emotions in very different ways. But Dean… not so much.” Sam takes a seat on the table next to where Cas is seated in one of the sturdy library chairs and leans forward, starting to warm to his subject. After all, he’s spent his entire life studying his older brother and Cas is a singularly captivated audience when it comes to all things Dean. “For Dean, there’s the angry that means he’s angry, the angry that means he’s scared or worried about you, the angry that means he’s sad… And then there’s pie.” He sits back in his chair, quietly satisfied with his analogy.

Cas stares at him a moment before saying slowly, “So… you’re saying that Dean’s four emotional states are angry, angry, angry… and pie?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“That makes… a surprising amount of sense.”

“Really?” Sam’s eyebrows raise in surprise. Understanding straightforward emotions was a struggle for Cas at one time. Emotions masked as other emotions? He hadn’t expected the angel to catch on so quickly.

Castiel nods, angelic countenance thoughtful.

“Human emotions can be… overwhelming. When I first began experiencing them, I sometimes felt like I was going to explode from the sheer force of what I was feeling.” Castiel stares at a spot above Sam’s shoulder, clearly picturing something in his mind. “Dean Winchester is the Righteous Man, Sam. True righteousness cannot exist devoid of emotion. There have been many men who could have been considered righteous based on the logic of their actions and yet, while benefiting the masses, those actions bestowed horrors upon a select few.”

“The ends don’t always justify the means and the needs of the many don’t always outweigh the needs of the few. Right,” Sam agrees while scrunching his forehead in confusion. He’s not quite seeing how this ties back to his brother acting like an asshole caveman.

Cas’ eyes find his again. 

“What constitutes ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ in terms of human conscience is shaped by the values and customs of a particular society. It changes over time. _Righteousness_ is universal. It’s rooted in the empathy that exists between all souls. A soul as bright, as _righteous_, as Dean’s must be anchored deeply in emotion, consumed by it even. To feel things so deeply, far more deeply than other humans… perhaps that explains why Dean constantly appears on the verge of exploding.”

Sam blinks.

“You got _that_ from ‘angry, angry, angry, pie?’”

“Yes. Thank you, Sam. Our talk was very enlightening.”

Still feeling a little lost, Sam runs a hand through his hair and shrugs.

“Uh, sure. Glad I could help, I guess.”

He pretends not to notice Dean listening from the doorway.

~***~

“Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean.”

Hearing his brother and Cas in the library, Sam continues his trek toward the stairs without saying hello, hoping to squeeze in a run before dinner. His steps slow, however, and take him back toward the library door when he hears Castiel’s next words.

“Are you finished being… angry with me? I apologize if I unintentionally did something to upset you.”

“What? I wasn’t ‘angry with you!’” Dean barks out sharply.

From where he’s standing next to the doorway, he can just make out Castiel’s eyebrow arching in challenge at Dean’s tone. 

He probably shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but since Sam’s the one that’ll undoubtedly be cleaning up Dean’s mess if he screws things up with Cas (again), he feels justified. It’s not _spying_. It’s completely reasonable and defensible reconnaissance. Commendable even. 

“I wasn’t angry with you,” Dean repeats in a softer tone, before slumping into the chair across from Cas and ducking his head to catch the angel’s eyes with his own. “Look, just because I’m angry, don’t mean I’m angry _at you,” _he explains before adding hurriedly, a finger jabbing toward the angel, “Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I really am pissed at you. You’ve done some really stupid shit, man. We both have.”

Cas nods in silent agreement.

“But most of the time,” Dean leans back in his chair and runs a hand through his hair, “I’m just angry _about _you.”

“About me?” Cas asks quizzically, tilting his head in classic Cas confusion.

“Yeah. Like, angry about you not being here. Or angry about you getting yourself killed. Again.” Dean rolls his eyes. “Or angry about you thinking you can handle shit on your own, instead of coming to me and Sam. Angry about you thinking that you _have_ to handle shit on your own.”

“But none of that is you being angry _at _me,” Cas says doubtfully.

“Nah, not really.”

Dean taps his thumb nervously on the arm rest of the wooden library chair, his entire body radiating anxious energy.

“Dean?” Cas asks, shooting a pointed look at Dean’s fidgeting fingers.

“I uh, heard you talkin’ to Sam earlier,” Dean blurts out, “about my feelings or whatever.”

“About the way you express emotions?” Cas clarifies with raised eyebrows. 

“Yeah. That.” Sam rolls his eyes. Turns out the only thing more painful than talking to Dean about his feelings is _listening_ to him talk about his feelings with someone else.

“And?”

“And he ain’t exactly wrong.”

“So, you’re saying that earlier today, you weren’t _angry _angry?”

“Right.”

“So, which angry were you?”

Dean rolls his eyes.

“I don’t know. One of the other ones. Just pick one.”

“So you were s-,” Dean shoots a warning glare at Cas, who quickly amends, “one of the _other_ types of angry, but not _angry _angry, _about _me, but not _at_ me?”

“Exactly,” Dean grins and leans back in his chair, fingers laced across his stomach.

“Okay. Thank you for telling me… that.”

“No problem.” Dean clears his throat. “So, uh, that stuff you said. You know, the soul stuff. Was any of that true?”

“I believe it all to be true, Dean.”

“Yeah, okay.” Dean swallows and looks down at the table before finding Cas’ eyes again. “Doesn’t give me the right to take it out on you though. Doesn’t give me the right to be an asshole. You gotta call me on that shit, man. Don’t just take it.”

“I appreciate you saying so. The next you seem _angry_ with me for no apparent reason, I’ll try to remember to ‘call you on your shit.’” 

Sam grins as he watches Cas make air quotes around the end of his sentence. He can’t see Dean’s eyes, but he does see Dean’s entire head move with what he’s sure is a very affectionate eye roll.

“Yeah, you do that.” He stands, hands stuffed in his pockets awkwardly. “So, we good? You don’t still think I’m mad at you all the time?” he double checks, taking a few backward steps toward the door.

“I… no, Dean. I no longer think you’re angry at me all of the time,” Cas says, looking as bemused as Sam had felt after their earlier conversation.

“Good,” Dean says, “That’s good. Because, Cas? Just so you know, the way I… the way _you _make me feel?”

Dean pauses. Takes a breath. 

“You’re pie.”

The last thing Sam sees before he makes a hasty retreat are the corners of Cas’ mouth ticking up in a smile that, while small now, looks like it’s on verge of exploding.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading! If you'd like to give my lonely Tumblr some love, you can do so [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/a-mandala-rose).
> 
> If you enjoyed my take on the inner workings of a Winchester, reblog it [here](https://a-mandala-rose.tumblr.com/post/187008652349/angry-angry-angry-pie).
> 
> And if you're one of my subscribers or just someone who's read and enjoyed my work, keep a look out! The first chapter of my new WIP posts the first week of September (unless I get really stressed and need a pick me up before then)!


End file.
